PMkJH Moments!

" Poochne me kya jata hai " : Loosely translated -> We lose nothing by asking. This has been latest TATA Sky ad campaign and this has immediately caught attention of everyone. This article is dedicated to all Poochne-me-kya-Jata-Hai moments i.e PMKJH Moments. The idea is simple, if we don't ask on time we lose precious chance of getting what we want.

As i look back to trace my first PMKJH moment , it was mom asking me to bring flowers from neighbor's backyard after getting permission for the same. I recollect vaguely, i had suggested, " she won't allow ". Mom had replied , " poochne me kya jata hai , try to karo " . To my surprise ,that lady had allowed me to pluck flowers without making any fuss of that. Another moment , then i could not belive , people can allow strangers to sit in their car , we call that 'took lift' moment. I said to dad that car won't stop , why he'll allow us in his car for no reason? Dad had said with a smile , " Poochne me kya jata hai ?" The car had stopped and that was successful PMKJH moment.

As we grow , PMKJH moments reach curious proportions. Its tricky, when Guys try this with many girls , Some are masters and easily ask for evening coffee and many fail to ask even for class notes from girls. First year of college had many PMKJH moments with so many people. Not to forget regular usage of vocal chords to say "Poochne-me-klya-jata-hai" to negate the disappointment. Looking for PMKJH moment in other spheres of life , one popular place is restaurant , we always ask for extra onion , lemon and that green chilly. Most of the times our query is processed with smile and sometimes the result is void . When its void , we smile and say , " Poochne me kya jata hai ? "

Referring to various job applications we send for dream jobs , and we get no response, we console ourselves and accept PMKJH moment.PMKJH moment may not always be successful, But the joy of asking and the satisfaction of the fact that " I tried", will negate the disappointment of failure. Before closing , anyway you have THE "NO" if you don't ask , So go ahead and ask, because PKMJH moments are precious .

Kittu's fast : 5 agenda

Everything in the House seemed normal till Kittu typed the words on twitter and facebook ," today , i'll be on fast.Henceforth,on every Sunday, i'll be on fast ,indefinitely, till my five point demands are not accepted by the family authorities .There is no scope of any negotiation on this as this has been drafted after a lot of considerations with my friends". A copy of above text was attached to Mohit uncle's ( Kittu's dad) morning news paper and same text was kept on top of tea bottle in kitchen.

The actual text of five point demand are as under.
1: Permission to wake up late on sundays i.e 11am
2: Permission to perform 5-hours-computer-game-session-ritual on saturday night.
3: Increment of Pocket money : not less than 12.5% of current ( keeping in view annual inflation )
4: Green leaf vegetables should be phased out from dinner table . Should not be served more than 1 day in a week.
5: Memorandum of understanding (MOU) on technological upgradation in coming months i.e new electronic gadgets, new bicycle, etc.

All above demands are binding in nature.

To resolve the deadlock , home ministry ( Kittu's Mom i.e aunty juno ) has appointed chinki( Kittu's sister ) as official mediator.Chink approached kittu with morning breakfast . Home ministry also issued letter of threat and may resort to usage of force if the fast is prolonged.Chinki has assured kittu that his demands can be discussed if he presents it in more democratic manner . Fasting should be last resort. Kittu's friends have supported his demands and resorted to demonstration in front of his house. They left the place hurridly on hearing angry words from kittu's mom. When contacted , kittu's mom expressed anger and termed the demands as "unrealistic". One of Kittu's friends, on condition of anonymity, has expressed aunty's such reply as Draconian and medieval. He said , " With time parents should take more liberal stance , Kittu's demand are very realistic and should be accepted without modification" .

Meanwhile ,Mohit has called for all party meet to come to any conclusion. The meeting is scheduled to be held at dinner's table , late in the evening . Sushila aunty , Kittu's neighbor , has expressed apprehension on whole scenario. She said , " I hope acceptable-to-all solution is achieved in the meeting " . Meanwhile , juno aunty has said that sushila aunty's remarks are "unwanted" and said that this is our internal matter and we can handle it as we have done in past.

At the time of writing this news , Kittu's grandfather has decided to support kittu's demand in principle . He said , " Kittu's demands are democratic , I'm with him . Kittu's dad had made me face many such situations. Now he'll know how it feels like ".Now , everyone is waiting for the outcome of the meeting and Parents are worried because this may lead to similar demands in their territories.

She is super freaky girl....

Dear Saloni Mataakali,

I don't really know how to tell you this, our romance is over. I think i realized it when you smacked my ass under a street light and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're shamed enough to understand that you need a sex-change . I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but i'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that i always wanted to break your legs and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

best of luck on the sex change,
Neeraj

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I am tagging ankur, akansha , shruti ,saurabh, raja , vivek , one "invisible" follower of my blog , and anyone who loves "permutation" and "combination" of words.
And thanks to ashrita and appu for tagging me .So funny tag :P.





Here's how you do it..
TAG 10 PEOPLE OR MORE AND THEN....
Dear (person you spoke to recently,
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Name






1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your pants?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – l
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Your love letters to me
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself