Sometimes.....

When things seem out of control,
when mind plays its own role,
i search someone to be on my side,
Always i wish to control myself.

This dream is about knowing myself,
This hope about me and myself,
Why 'myself' has to be 'right'?
why 'me' always has to give a 'fight'?


Questions leading me nowhere,
may be there are just questions,
answers are there but hidden,
may be i don't want to know answers.

I have my own way of acting-reacting,
I know some seem correct some are non-trivial,
many times i have nothing to explain,
i call this "sometimes life-has-to-go-like-this".

May be i expect too much every time,
but there is hope next time,
forgetting can be bad at times,
alas! i hear those whispers every time.

Time has come take new resolution,
Expect nothing to remain in fools paradise,
There are windows showing real-world,
I call this reality-always-bites.


Some stories will always remain incomplete,
Some thoughts will always make me feel light,
I search someone to be on my side,
that someone will hold me tight.

sometimes i feel this way......


p.s : Sometimes i feel this way and that way is right now...feeling lonely

one year : me blogging....

One year ago it all started ; yes it was 25th October 2008 , i had created my blog called "just another blog". One year down the line, i can say the experience has been more then "just another experience" .

Delayed congrats( today is 27th October ) to me and my blog , our association now is one year old.It was great learning experience , i moved from "beginner" to "addicted to blogging " to less frequent on blog world ( clearly now i am lees frequent at this place ) . From blogging i did learn many things in last one year , i found a place where i can express-celebrate-socialize-read-learn etc etc.Looking for what changed , now i can combine my thoughts with my words in a better way. I got chance to know many good-better-best persons. Many times i just forgot that this is virtual world , sometimes it occurred to me.......noooo... this is virtual world!!! .

My blog became place to celebrate occasions. Yes, i was addicted to my blog. Reading others and sharing views on their piece of writing is special thing. Writing comment 2-3 times on same blog entry was fun+fun+fun. Following someone and waiting for others to read-comment is equally exciting . In the beginning i used to wait for comment on what i wrote , nevertheless it happened a few times , there was comment on my blog within minutes of posting my blog entry.sometimes my highly "unedited" entries were read......( kajal you reading this? )


Before closing : i would like to dedicate this blog entries to all followers of my blog . they made this learning experience a memorable experience.

p.s: I am busy these days with something called "training" in my company..... can't wait to get my first salary :)

bye folks

Happy b'day to me :)

Its my b'day ( 30th august ). Time to celebrate this on my blog err.... JustAnotherBlog. My thoughts have gone stagnant/ stopped evolving , that's why i'm not regular on blog-world these days. This b'day is wake up call for me to write something on my blog.

This time i am at home on my b'day. Previously I was at home on my b'day in year 1997.....long ago. Faint memories from home when it comes to celebrating b'day. Last 4years b'day in college were memorable. Each year same thing happened , " kicks-at-mid-night , treat-the-next-day/suitable-day ". It was difficult to wake up and walk on that morning( if one was able to sleep ). Yes , so many good wishes were also given in pure form .I am missing those kicks this year.At the same time I'm enjoying this b'day at home. It's weird to bring cake for own b'day but i did this today( chocolate cake ). May be i'll get some gift , i dont know till now what gift will come from mom-dad. Yes i've already got a gift from someone special , that too almost one month in advance. That is real special gift from someone special ( miss special , i know you are more happy than me on my b'day ).
Before pressing publish button , happy b'day to me . I am loving this so much......

To sweet-sis

Worst enemies can be so close to each other; yes! me and my sister are seasoned arch rivals for each other. Even me staying away from home for 11years has hardly reduced the intensity of sweet-animosity between two of us. There is no sign of truce or waning of rivalry.Today( 5th aug) is rakhi-day and time to celebrate this with dear-sister. I am at home this time after 6years( after 2003 ). Here goes the post about my dearie-sis....


Hey sis,
hi!, time to celebrate the rakhi-day. I remember you tieing rakhi on my wrist since the days you didn't know how to tie any thread. Then you kept mom away from helping you while tieing rakhi. As i think about you , few things that come in mind about you are.....

# you are central database of the family.which thing is located/stored where is known to you only.

# your services are available for every member of the family 24/7. You are mom's right hand. With your help only she is such an autocratic authority.

# you are good cook which is not apparent when i criticize you no matter what you cook.

# when i have to leave home you start packing my bag one day in advance. This generates both good and bad emotions. I just hate packing before leaving home.

# As a kid i used to wonder why you hate game of cricket and can't play the same with me? It was sweet-retaliation throwing/hiding your dolls so that you have time to play with me. I remember your 'counter-attacks' were 'deadly'.

# your spirit of sharing , bows ^o^. Even single hajmolas ,alpenliebes, aam-pachaks, mango-bites were shared by you with me.your style of breaking/cracking them before sharing can-not be expressed in words :P

# i just love your style of tearing corner of the "samosa" from my plate. That style has not changed over the years.

# I treasure our pillow-fight. Yeah! I did end up at the receiving end most of the time. You are so good at that.

# you are my best critic. When others will think twice to say what is wrong with me.....i know you will point my mistakes. Great to have a critic in you always keeping an eye on me.

# you are so good at saving money , even better than mom. How to use money efficiently is in-born attribute of yours.

# you look upto me as if i have solution to all problems. I try to live upto your expectations......i shall always keep on trying.

List is unending, time to close. There is a saying, " keep your friends close , your enemies closer". Sis you are my 'sweetest-enemy', no wonder you are 'closest' to me. I'll always be there for you. Keep on smiling sisterji :-)

from Bhaiya
'jhunnu'

p.s : special mention here to sweetest-jasoos aka cutie-sis-gudiya .you are so niceee, lucky to have known you. I wont forget to mention aditi, sister from blog world....you are special. Happy-rakhi-day to both of you :-)

p.p.s : waiting for chamki to read this. Pressing 'publish-button' had become painful as i knew chamki is not there to read. Chamkiii.......aao jaldi

All the best , Mr. D

Time to say so many "all the bests" to friends. Everyone is joining their chosen companies these days. Most ( me too )are waiting for delayed joining dates....recession time :( . This post is dedicated to daeboo , tomorrow ( 13th july )he is joining his company .

Daeboo is one of the special talents i have seen in my life. When he works , he is real wizard. Check his blog : 'share and let share ' to get glimpse of the beautiful mind at work. I am glad , he was inspired by me to write a blog ( technical ).To take one instance : he tried to write 23 in 23 ways on his 23rd b'day.He did end up writing 23 in 19 ways :p....and stopped saying 'something is wrong with him '....lolz . I am big fan of him and words of appreciation for him come effortlessly in my mind .In front him I always feel like stupid , but i try to speak smart ;) . I have privilege to ask most stupid questions from him. For him nothing in this world is senseless. Even faintest of query from friends makes him real involved , compassion personified at best . Gowd! how well he controls his emotions can scare anyone . I look upto him to act always cool and composed , 24/7. We have had endless tech talks in college , mostly revolving around computers, technology, sharing , science , open-source , sci-fi movies , music , tv-series ,internet etc . He was official 'doctor' of my computer. Even now if any thing goes wrong with my computer , i have to send immediate SOS to him. We have spent so many hours searching for solution to interesting small problems . He never shows-off his knowledge , which i think is both good and bad . I hope in professional career he will show the talent to world . I am anxiously waiting for his success which i am sure will follow him.

I did learn from daeboo many things . Not to forget his sense of humor , he explains all real life situations with special style.
Our education system is so bad , no respect for talents. Daeboo had trying times while clearing stupid college papers which required only 'memory' and no brain. I just hope the industry will be able to use his talent.

Before closing : when most of us will say , " i am lucky to work for particular company" ; in case of daeboo i can happily say , "the company is lucky enough to have him as employee". If i know his bosses , i'll say to them , fire 100 employees , he is equivalent to at-least 100
brains working together. Again all the best...daeboo err MR. D

p.s : my talk with daeboo is always so technical , so i have tried to keep this 'all the best' non technical :p .

A wishful wish

Frodo : " i wish the ring had never come to me . I wish non of this had happened ......." .

Gandalf : " .......so do all who live to see such times , but that is not for them to decide . All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us " .

Source : the lord of the rings.

I was deeply touched by this line from the movie . I am in the state of frodo right now . I wish many things should had occured differently in my life . But gandalf's words are meaningful ; we can only decide about time we have right now .

I wish i had power to change things by going into past a la " the butterfly effect " . I know all paths have their own effects / side-effects . It's always late when past decisions are reviewed . The judges ( people ) are interested only with synopsis and present status of the situation , and decision making is fast in this case . The verdict they make , like always remains , " see , then only i had told this path is wrong " .

List of wishes are long and it is clearly an unsolvable problem if past is embedded in the wish . Being a techie , I must call this NP-complete problem .Right now i am trapped between future and present ; stagnant times i can say this. I just hope things straighten up and i follow my dreams soon .

Before closing another wish

"hey , do you want to see something ?"
Before mariam (15 years )could answer , Niloufar ( 8 years ) had put her palms and forehead to the ground . She pushed with her soles and then she was standing upside down , on her head , in three point stance .
" can you do that?" she said thickly .
" no ."
Niloufar dropped her legs and put her blouse back down . " i could teach you ," she said , pushing hair from her flushed brow .
( source : a thousand splendid suns )

As a kid i loved doing the upside down stance . I know this must be the case with all my friends ( hai na ? ) I want to enjoy that joy again , i know that is not a possibility unless i sit in "the time machine " :)

bye folks

Of a request , a thank you and the sorry

As the counter is saying , this is my 50th blog entry . So time to think what has been achieved till now , time to smile and and go for virtual party . Here it goes.....


A request
Yesterday i watched last episode of prison break season 4. The concluding episode had one touching song.....i got emotional when the song was playing in background with so many things coming to an end . I dedicate this song to all my friends . Here is lyrics of the song.....
Lay it down slow

if you got dreams in your heart
why don't you share them with me?
And if dreams don't come true
i'll make sure that your nightmares are through

if you got pain in your heart
why don't you share it with me?
And we'll just wait and see
if it's half what it used to be
and lay it down slow
lay it down free
lay it down easy
but lay it on me

if you've got love in your heart
why don't you keep it with mine?
I can't promise a miracle
but i'll always be trying
and lay it down slow
lay it down free
lay it down easy
but lay it on me.

a thank you

time to thank you all for reading / following / commenting . I know i am not a good writer , motivation for writing blog came from words ," all of us are special , so is our writing style ". It felt nice to know so many good people on blog , which is not possible in real life ,at-least for me .thanks to blog world , I am glad i know kajal ( thepinkorchid ), kiran maam ( chammak challo ), ashrita ( satan's darling ). I know many addition to above list will be there in future. Thanks to two ' invisible' followers of my blog . You two are always there with your comments on gtalk .

the sorry

time to say unconditional sorry to friends who felt hurt due to me . Life is too short to live for self . But sometimes life has to go like this . No hard feeling against anyone .

Before closing : be the change you want to see in this world .
Bye world :)