You will be there

Whenever i search you , i can feel your presence ,
stupid talks with unnecessary information ,
Some repetitive ones and some not so new ,
In moments of hopelessness and in moments of joy ,
Tried to ignore with open eyes ,
At times i Could hear you without any voice ,
Somehow i held on and said all will pass.

All i did was was with no bad intentions ,
Felt bad when i did want you to turn ,
On one side i did respect your decision
Felt bad when i could not hold those emotions ,
As you said ," don't want you to see that way "

Why i felt it that way , why i stood there for so late?
May be i don't want to know the reasons.
Why some paths intersect , why some stories intercept?
I know  , I'll never find  some answers.

There are moments when you are missed ,
when i walk with slight slow pace thinking you are by my side
When i try to sing with voice not so nice ,
As i try to correct my bad habits ,
I hear you say , " don't want to see you that way "

I wondered if this search has any ending ,
May be you will never show up ,
I know you will giggle listening this part of the story ,
Anyways, you will know the other part of the journey.

Confusion galore , i know for sure ,
I shall clear the the path we shall walk together,
I will listen more and speak less ,
Will read you and won't bother about writing ,
Caring you will be like getting cared ,
Slow motion it is as i try to peep into my future ,
It feels good , at last , you will be there.

Economics of Love

Since time immemorial humanity has glorified Love . Many great minds did devote precious time in knowing length and breadth of the same. In the process , history did see many great exponents of love who became part of folklore . Ironically all great lovers were losers . This grave truth has not stopped generations from falling in love . As civilizations rose and fell , economy did influence love as it had to be sustained by materialistic approach to life. Many Wars and battles were result of some direct/indirect influences of hate induced due to love. Love did bring to the fore the poet in Kalidasa who gave imagination new heights in Meghdootam . Manu advised to keep distance from lovers when it came to get wise opinion. Ignoring other aspects , its interesting to see love from eyes of an economist . Here it goes...

Some start it as early investment , some wait for right opportunity and apt sentiment , some subside due to lack of know how . Like monsoon it keeps everyone guessing , those who are interested , those who are not.Some have all the know how , infrastructure and time but they lack the human resource. Some daring enough go for a " start up " when each lovable moment is hard earned. We do see many whose life seem a successful love story , but may be the actual story is difficult to decipher . We know a few who achieve this with wise maturity . So far so good , the story continues for those who become part of the game , for others its simple bane . For those who are in the game , suddenly things achieve unmanageable proportions. Fiscal deficit haunts the most when there are financial liabilities to be completed with cash crunch and no help of FII . Current account deficit is strained by b'day , monthly celebrations , random lunch , dinner and gifts and other " invisibles ". Entertainment taxes force you to take austerity measures e.g take cheap public transport , enjoy street food etc. But the austerity measures are difficult to sustain for the whole financial year. Soon you have to pretend as if you've really deep pocket. If availability of foreign brands was cause of  headache , thanks to 100% FDI in single brand retail , things are sure to get more difficult as policy measures will open up the market further e.g more foreign brands to consume Hot money. How can the monetary and strategic regulators e.g Mom-dad would remain subdued for long. Their policy measures to tighten up the liquidity in your bank account is something which you had ratified once you came into this world. With regular audits the anomaly in the balance sheet becomes apparent which leads to warnings and apprehensive words. Rates are revised regularly to keep control on  the spending and other 'self welfare' requirements. In addition to Mom-dad-regulatory-Body  your Love interest ( LI ) acts as self appointed vigilance-officer and information-commissioner . Your every activity is tracked and your actions are heavily regulated . LI's advice becomes the rule , every request has to be pre approved. Capital investors ( friends ) loose confidence in you and your credit rating takes a hit e.g junk.

With present looking hopeless and grim , long term benefits seem almost a void from the relationship . Can this scenario lead to meaningful and sustainable result ( Happy Marriage ) .what policy reforms can be taken to avoid complex situation and maintain NPA ( non performing assets ) to the minimum? Same old question comes to mind whose answer will remain unknown for ever i.e What then love is? May be its a journey after which you can say/write , " It has been long and unexpected journey and i'm proud you were on my side in this " . The journey which is long will for sure have bullish and bearish phases . Sometimes paradise will be lost due to cruelty of time , but the quest will continue . May be better lovers and true soul mates will walk on earth in future and new folklore will be created . Some best paintings are never complete , some stories will not find conclusion because journey itself is the destination.

The Lovable protocol

Some years back( year 2005 ) a friend had remarked looking  at a photograph in a newspaper of a dangerously beautiful lass  , " why i am not there to console her". Girl was pictured with sad face , she was paying tribute to victims of Beslan school massacre. With due respect to sensitivity associated with mentioned scenario ,  guys have strange capability to look for something extra in all situations.Strange protocols are formed , manufactured , self-imposed in due process , over the years .

The problem is compounded by the fact that in front of girls its difficult for guys to converse for long time , at least in India. This can be attributed to various reasons. Here main reason under consideration is , 90% of guys talk simply can not accommodate a girl in the conversation. So guys have to manage with 10% of their know how .What is the solution ? They take respite in being a good listener , girls anyway are better speaker. But this is difficult to manage scenario as one will be termed as a bore and shooed away in minutes.Not to forget some guys have god given capability to speak words what every girl dies to listen. A rare species for sure. Coming back to the protocols that get created over the years , guys have to prepare answer to generic universal questions i.e

1: What is your favorite color?
( they have to make one if they don't have) . If one's favorite color is blue , to be on safer side one should take lessons for differentiating between between , Light blue , Majorelle Blue , Oxford Blue,Palatinate blue etc.

2:  What is your favorite movie? ( read romantic movie )

3: Do you love pets? ( one has to say yes ) 

4: what is best gift that you got? ( Its hard to explain for a guy of lower Middle class background, gift is alien word , one has to stress the memory cells  and find what he got which can be called a gift)

5:  what did you do on your last birthday? ( One has to make it interesting even though it was normal veg-Manchurian-paneer-butter-masala-Naan session with friends...Yes , guys can mix Chinese with Indian dishes while eating )

Having prepared these and similar questionnaires one has to try to compensate your reduced 90% word strength with something called idiosyncrasy. No wonder for gals,  guy talks soon become boring and repetitive .Defeat accepted , guys come back next day only to give a better try , wondering what those stupid looking boys with strange accent talk for so long and same creatures around them giggle on every line!!

I would like to recall a short lived protocol of mine, i called carry-two-pen-protocol.I used to carry two pens with me since the forgetful day when one girl, who was lovable to everyone, did ask for pen and i had none. My stupid smile and apologetic words were of no help. I finally gave up this activity of carrying 2 pens after philosophically conceding , " some moments can not repeat" .

The protocol creation and maintenance  doesn't end here. As one should not look desperate , he shows as if his surrounding is not so special . When the phone rings and the caller happens to be "that" girl, its time to delay the pick up and let the ringtone live full life .When in reality one is dying to press the green button and say hi-hello-etc.obviously the heartbeat rate increases exponentially in the mean time.No wonder some stories which might had taken beautiful proportions are not able to find initiating words.

Recently , we could not stop laughing incessantly when one friend did narrate , how helpless he felt when one girl asked him to accompany her while going home . "Sadly" he had no car with him. He cursed his salary for the "misfortune". He has no problem riding on crowded bus, but as per his rule book ,  when there is girl with him she has to go in a car. For him, guys are made up to face all the hardships and only gals should get best possible.

Such acts may not define love in general , but these certainly make love more lovable. Special mention to the answer given by an eight year old girl when she was asked to define love. She said , " Love is when you say to a guy he is looking good in the shirt he is wearing and he wears that shirt everyday".

Love in The air

These days anyone can say love is in the air. Valentine's day is around the corner , presence of the same has been magnified by flooded topics on this topic on internet. So this is time to say it again to our loved one's and celebrate it with infinite love . This blog entry is dedicated to miss-special ( not undermining my love for others who make my life b'ful everyday by being part of it ).

This blog entry is much awaited by me and as the topic is very " difficult " words are not helping me as usual. I will use my ready made line here , " this day is all about saying it once more to our loved one's what they mean to us " . Now concentrating on miss-special somethings about her i want to share.....

1: Can get angry on anything, that too 24/7 : Every time she gets angry i'm found unprepared for the same . with no "disaster" management in place she laughs at my NO-preparedness.

2: Angry to romantic in no time : I just wonder how easily she does that , i am not complaining for this , at that time i can relax thinking " aal-eez-well "

3: She seems more organized than me : She thinks i am worst organized which i'm not . I know everything is "relative" is this universe.

4: Fashion crazy : No wonder here , all gals are of predictable when it comes to fashion ( all will agree )

5: She hates numbers and i love them : This is 5th is the list ...better i should stop :)


Keeping it short i can say my love has motivated me to be better person every day . I have known what it means to be made feel special . Hey!! not to forget infinite number of fights , leg pulling , sleepless nights we had and keep on having everyday ( pyar-ke-side-effects ) .

Before closing i would like to say happy Valentine's day to everyone in general and miss-special in particular .