Scary selfishness

Mike Tyson : 14th July 2010 : " The first stage of my life was just a whole bunch of selfishness. Just a whole bunch of gifts to myself and people who didn't necessarily deserve it. Now I'm 44, and I realize that my whole life is just a f--king waste. 'Greatest man on the planet'? I wasn't half the man I thought I was. So if there's a big plan now, it's just to give-it's selflessness, caring for the people who deserve it. Because I think I'm a pig. I have this uncanny ability to look at myself in the mirror and say, 'This is a pig. You are a f--king piece of sh-t."

Selfishness can make one feel really bad. At least we can help others when they ask for your help. No wonder that this line is one of my favourite , " At the end of the day it doesn't matter how much you get from others , but , how much you are able to give" .As i write his i remember some unknown faces whom i helped. That illiterate man at ATM machine who didn't know how to use that ATM machine , that old lady who held my hand while crossing the road , the man who asked me how to fill form to deposit money at bank , the guy whose ticket was not confirmed and i made him sleep on my berth , that junior in school who walked up to me to me to ask how to write speech . Through the list is not uncountable , but still they make me smile each time i remember those moments.

Help offered to friends is obviously not mentioned in the list . At times whole day and more was devoted to solve the problems which created problem for them. Even if the problem was not of any significant magnitude i.e some mathematics problem.I'm getting guilty feeling( i should not mention about help offered/given ). A generous "thank-you" was not acceptable . Somehow,i never got comfortable with this word if i added that person in my friend list.With time i have started accepting this "thank-you" formality with a awkward "welcome".Coming to the recent event when i told one friend to write on chat window " calling you " rather then " can i call you?" . Its highly not-good-feeling to give permission to anyone calling me. Reason is simple , helping is at very high priority for me. The feeling that comes on seeing smiling face is the reward which is unique in its kind.sometimes,one can only imagine that smile because that person is not in front of you.But this hardly reduces feel-good -feeling.The sense of "i am of some use to other " is really special one.

Before closing,i'm happy to help unconditionally and someday i don't want to call myself "a pig".The work is on :)