In earlier cases this might had been my diary entry....me talking to myself. Don't know why i am writing this on blog. Readers can avoid this as this is boring face of mine.
So, here i am the state of mind which i dislike...feeling lonely. This is due to some decisions i have to make soon. With college ending ( 10 days ) , i am again seeing element of void in near future. Time to get out of comfort zone . Very apprehensive i am , what is there for me in future ?. Some career decisions are to be taken by me and me alone . Very lonely......mood swing since yesterday evening.
While i am writing this , "Savage garden : when you feel all alone ", is playing on my comp. i am really touched by the lines....
"When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore"
I feel really bad when i have to wait alone at railway platform. I hate walking alone . Talking to self is painful at times . The questions ,"what i have done till now? " , really tests my control on myself.
I have always been some sort of loner , introvert , and whatever words can be used for this situation. I can't explain why this is the case with me . May be in quest of becoming good-boy i got so serious and hence loner . In 3-4 years situation has changed slightly , but still i have remained where i was. But can't take anymore, just hate feeling lonely. It's like enough is enough.
I just hope , everything goes fine. Bad thing, i can't ask 'god' to help me. Side effects of being non-believer.
8 comments:
oyeee neeraj!!! u knw i felt d same thngs whn it was my farewell.. bt u knw wht made me ok? hangin out wid my dearest frnds.. talk to them. go tak a ride around college campus and get lost in wonderful memories. :)
n i m sure life has MANY MANY wonderful things in store for u. i m sure everyone agrees wid me on dat thought. so jus smile ok? :)
Cheers,
Annie.
waw!! annie here.....are yaar!, this mood swing has always been mera dost.......thoda jyada serious hoon na isliye .
even in happiest of moments i get sad.....me paagal..in 1-2 days i will be ok....
can't find words to thank you...thku ann :)
heyy!!! frndship me no sorry n no thank u!!! rem? :)
n yeah dat happnes wid me too. sometimes even i feel lik im all alone in a crowded room. :) pagal pagal main bhi tu bhi. :P :D
chal ab thik ho jaa jaldi see.. n come smile on my Engineers wala post. U will love it. :)
@annie : padh liya gaya wo post..me laughed alot.....hehe
awww!! u also "no-thku-no-sorry buddy".....me thought same 5-7 days before.....now i believe in mixture....thoda bahut to chalta hai..formality ;)
p.s : me surprised to get 2 comments from u...this is not common thing on my blog
Blogging is all about you and your moods Neeraj.. Thank you for allowing us a peep into your mind and heart..I'd say 'this too shall pass' ..har raat ki subah ho jati hai..and time isn't constant... sab theek ho jayega..a sweetheart like you can never be lonely.. you are a wonderful human being..
@ kaju : waiting for days when i won't have to worry about some stupid things.
i feels so nice , someone like you has time to look into my world.
*speechless*
someone like me.. --- ka kya mutlab haiiiiiiii?? maar khaani hai? ek pal mein friend aur doosre pal mein itna bhayanak dialogue..
:( :(
@kaju : if i expect less pain nahi hoga if i get less.......i have felt pain of expecting more from frnds in past....jst playing safe :P
p.s : maaf kiya jae kaju no wonder..... i am feeling lonely. Expecting so less from friends...even though they are so nice .
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