Its some moments past 1pm and i got some innocuous message on office communicator displaying "lunch" .The reply to this has got monotonous over the months i.e 5min/2min/lets go and sometimes rare modifications. Sometimes i perform the ritual of asking others to gather for lunch with similar responses mentioned query i.e lunch?. In other words this is reminder i.e this is lunch hour and fear factor associated is join the group otherwise one has to eat alone .At time people move to otherwise deserted place in office i.e cafeteria.Lunch hour is the the time for social interaction with some typical smiles flowing around and typical social interaction stuffed with rudimentary questions "how are you ? " " all is well? " etc etc .This is
the time when one listens to particular tribe who are otherwise so busy and they carry their work all the time on their head/shoulders/brain ( if its there ) .Not to forget gossip mongers who don't fail to comment on their managers and olleagues .One should not forget souls want to share from miniature "dabbas" that they carry religiously from home to office. I wonder how one can cook that small quantity and to carry that and at the end offer that to 10 people(assumption).I don't khow if they are best at resource phenomena. Not to forget souls who survive on juice and they sip juice as if that has arrived from out of this world on their service .In between this sometimes chit-chat subject becomes "Cafeteria food is bad" and not so good caterer.Caterer in my behave as if they are here on charity mission feeding hungry people/Who don't have access to home made food...charitable catering. Another tribe is who eat "fasting" food , its a misnomer..how can one eat in fasting?...but in India we do many weird things on the name of god...khuda ke liye. Its not difficult to find people who are on dieting and on special diet . They say," i eat highly customized food ", calorie count is in fashion.Clearly ,we care more for our health if the fashion trend supports that.
Enough of office talk...to refresh the mood i'll trace back to lunch timing in college days. Lunch time there was like another typical session to discuss " how bad the food is?". Different pros and cons of this topic were discussed at length.Eating roti "just_out_of_tawa" was a must do event. Anything cold was strict no no.As i look back hostel food was not that bad , at least multiple times better then the diet i eat these days. some dishes were "so special" or trademark of our hostel mess to be precise.Those french fries can easily beat much revered french fries of McDonald's and other places i have visited.
Coming to important question, what was my answer to "with whom i'll have lunch ? " The answer is it was highly dynamic...with anyone present there in hostel mess. All tables were equally likely .....side effect of having so many friends . It can be said there were several layers of friends between close friends and distant friends. Interestingly as i remember close friends were not my lunch time friends.I would like to add dinner time to previously mentioned phenomena. As i talk about dinner/lunch time friends i can't forget to mention other tribe of friends. Sports complex friends,pizza friends, Table tennis friends, watching TV friends,pizza friends,watching movies friends, cricket friends,bakwas talk friends,frustration session friends , study friends ,jhaduu friends( somehow my room was jhadu/broom room.....people cared periodically to clean their room i.e monthly/bi-monthly) ...gosh!! so many divisions ...but why i'm counting that? Wasn't it effortless?
How things change so quickly . Being formal has become the rule. I see everyday one of my fav lines personified in many souls working in office environment ...the line being , "we are prisoners of own identity , living in prison of our own creation ".
The fear is can i save myself from being typical prisoner....i'll have to look for answer in future. 5 years down the line ,what i'll be doing? Will i ping colleagues for one typical lunch session and have typical lunch time talks.Its scary ...it would be interesting to see what happens...which path to choose...so much of confusion and that is magnifying the fear.Before closing , getting company while having lunch/dinner is privilege , if no is around , silently ,i arrange for the sweet debate , me v/s myself moments i call it .
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Scary selfishness
Mike Tyson : 14th July 2010 : " The first stage of my life was just a whole bunch of selfishness. Just a whole bunch of gifts to myself and people who didn't necessarily deserve it. Now I'm 44, and I realize that my whole life is just a f--king waste. 'Greatest man on the planet'? I wasn't half the man I thought I was. So if there's a big plan now, it's just to give-it's selflessness, caring for the people who deserve it. Because I think I'm a pig. I have this uncanny ability to look at myself in the mirror and say, 'This is a pig. You are a f--king piece of sh-t."
Selfishness can make one feel really bad. At least we can help others when they ask for your help. No wonder that this line is one of my favourite , " At the end of the day it doesn't matter how much you get from others , but , how much you are able to give" .As i write his i remember some unknown faces whom i helped. That illiterate man at ATM machine who didn't know how to use that ATM machine , that old lady who held my hand while crossing the road , the man who asked me how to fill form to deposit money at bank , the guy whose ticket was not confirmed and i made him sleep on my berth , that junior in school who walked up to me to me to ask how to write speech . Through the list is not uncountable , but still they make me smile each time i remember those moments.
Help offered to friends is obviously not mentioned in the list . At times whole day and more was devoted to solve the problems which created problem for them. Even if the problem was not of any significant magnitude i.e some mathematics problem.I'm getting guilty feeling( i should not mention about help offered/given ). A generous "thank-you" was not acceptable . Somehow,i never got comfortable with this word if i added that person in my friend list.With time i have started accepting this "thank-you" formality with a awkward "welcome".Coming to the recent event when i told one friend to write on chat window " calling you " rather then " can i call you?" . Its highly not-good-feeling to give permission to anyone calling me. Reason is simple , helping is at very high priority for me. The feeling that comes on seeing smiling face is the reward which is unique in its kind.sometimes,one can only imagine that smile because that person is not in front of you.But this hardly reduces feel-good -feeling.The sense of "i am of some use to other " is really special one.
Before closing,i'm happy to help unconditionally and someday i don't want to call myself "a pig".The work is on :)
Selfishness can make one feel really bad. At least we can help others when they ask for your help. No wonder that this line is one of my favourite , " At the end of the day it doesn't matter how much you get from others , but , how much you are able to give" .As i write his i remember some unknown faces whom i helped. That illiterate man at ATM machine who didn't know how to use that ATM machine , that old lady who held my hand while crossing the road , the man who asked me how to fill form to deposit money at bank , the guy whose ticket was not confirmed and i made him sleep on my berth , that junior in school who walked up to me to me to ask how to write speech . Through the list is not uncountable , but still they make me smile each time i remember those moments.
Help offered to friends is obviously not mentioned in the list . At times whole day and more was devoted to solve the problems which created problem for them. Even if the problem was not of any significant magnitude i.e some mathematics problem.I'm getting guilty feeling( i should not mention about help offered/given ). A generous "thank-you" was not acceptable . Somehow,i never got comfortable with this word if i added that person in my friend list.With time i have started accepting this "thank-you" formality with a awkward "welcome".Coming to the recent event when i told one friend to write on chat window " calling you " rather then " can i call you?" . Its highly not-good-feeling to give permission to anyone calling me. Reason is simple , helping is at very high priority for me. The feeling that comes on seeing smiling face is the reward which is unique in its kind.sometimes,one can only imagine that smile because that person is not in front of you.But this hardly reduces feel-good -feeling.The sense of "i am of some use to other " is really special one.
Before closing,i'm happy to help unconditionally and someday i don't want to call myself "a pig".The work is on :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Choti and frogy moments
Note : C=choti , f=frogy
Taken from one typical choti-frogy talk
In the middle of the talk.....
f: you like me?
c: you mean, i should call you sweet and cute?
f: There you go.Now you know me better.....i'm happy.
c: That's fine , but i like surprises, Saying you what you want me to say is hardly cool.
f: yes, that i know ...but...
c: May be you should call me cute then.
f: I should ..but you are too cute to be called cute and your sweetness can hardly be confined in one word "Sweet".
c: Don't try to be....leave it. Now, i want you to surprise me because i like surprises. Enough reasons...isn't it?
f: ok , i shall try to surprise you .
c: aha! , what do you mean?? From where these words "try to " , "shall" are coming. Just say you will surprise me now and now only.
f: ok....i'll surprise you now and now only.
c: now, i like you.
f: i know
c: oh no!!! , why your face is looking like sady sady?
f: nothing
c: no something is wrong. I shouldn't had talked to you like that. I'm so rude.
f: now see that expression on your face. Didn't i say , you are too cute to be called cute.
c: yes Mr. Frogy , you know things better than me. And i can say any number of times you are so nice.
f: crazy at best you are...aren't you?
c: as you say.....
Still in the middle of the talk.....
Some talks are really endless. Some fights are typical but still refreshing each time. Talking about Protagonists of the story. First Frogy . He was too much confused , kind at heart ( don't know how he was non-vegetarian ),late in realizing mistakes,bad at emotions(good at hiding them) ,always a sigh creature. About choti , less said is best said as her name says.So aggressive ( frogy had to face it every moment ) , strong willed , strong at heart , good at handling weak souls ( after all frogy was to be handled emotionally). At the core of that strong soul did lie so innocent face of choti. As Mr. frogy claimed every time, this innocent face did make him fall for choti.
Coming back to the story, how it started? When-where-why? Was it really a story? Answer is unknown. Mr. frogy didn't believe in luck/fate/destiny. Choti did count these things.What held them together in those circumstances is bigger mystery. It was 2312 AD to be precise. Humans had developed "too much". To add to these confusion , technology had developed so much that it was possible to make other species from existing i.e frogs to humans. Many countries had mastered this technology. But this was still not easily available technology to all countries. Mr. frogy was chosen frog in country kumken to be first frog-made-human. Choti , a human belonging to the 'lilliput' tribe was working as intern in the lab where this secret mission was being incorporated. The moment when they saw each other was not love at first sight. Then they hardly knew what lay ahead for them.......series of special moments , each contained full life in itself. Sometimes longevity can't be measured in terms of time elapsed...sometimes precious value of each moment dictates the measurement criteria....the unending saga that was....Frogy and choti moments i did call.
p.s : The person for whom this was written, disdainfully rejected to read this. But sometimes some lines are written even if no one is going to read them . "Will you read me when i won't write? " , answer i got , "NO".
Taken from one typical choti-frogy talk
In the middle of the talk.....
f: you like me?
c: you mean, i should call you sweet and cute?
f: There you go.Now you know me better.....i'm happy.
c: That's fine , but i like surprises, Saying you what you want me to say is hardly cool.
f: yes, that i know ...but...
c: May be you should call me cute then.
f: I should ..but you are too cute to be called cute and your sweetness can hardly be confined in one word "Sweet".
c: Don't try to be....leave it. Now, i want you to surprise me because i like surprises. Enough reasons...isn't it?
f: ok , i shall try to surprise you .
c: aha! , what do you mean?? From where these words "try to " , "shall" are coming. Just say you will surprise me now and now only.
f: ok....i'll surprise you now and now only.
c: now, i like you.
f: i know
c: oh no!!! , why your face is looking like sady sady?
f: nothing
c: no something is wrong. I shouldn't had talked to you like that. I'm so rude.
f: now see that expression on your face. Didn't i say , you are too cute to be called cute.
c: yes Mr. Frogy , you know things better than me. And i can say any number of times you are so nice.
f: crazy at best you are...aren't you?
c: as you say.....
Still in the middle of the talk.....
Some talks are really endless. Some fights are typical but still refreshing each time. Talking about Protagonists of the story. First Frogy . He was too much confused , kind at heart ( don't know how he was non-vegetarian ),late in realizing mistakes,bad at emotions(good at hiding them) ,always a sigh creature. About choti , less said is best said as her name says.So aggressive ( frogy had to face it every moment ) , strong willed , strong at heart , good at handling weak souls ( after all frogy was to be handled emotionally). At the core of that strong soul did lie so innocent face of choti. As Mr. frogy claimed every time, this innocent face did make him fall for choti.
Coming back to the story, how it started? When-where-why? Was it really a story? Answer is unknown. Mr. frogy didn't believe in luck/fate/destiny. Choti did count these things.What held them together in those circumstances is bigger mystery. It was 2312 AD to be precise. Humans had developed "too much". To add to these confusion , technology had developed so much that it was possible to make other species from existing i.e frogs to humans. Many countries had mastered this technology. But this was still not easily available technology to all countries. Mr. frogy was chosen frog in country kumken to be first frog-made-human. Choti , a human belonging to the 'lilliput' tribe was working as intern in the lab where this secret mission was being incorporated. The moment when they saw each other was not love at first sight. Then they hardly knew what lay ahead for them.......series of special moments , each contained full life in itself. Sometimes longevity can't be measured in terms of time elapsed...sometimes precious value of each moment dictates the measurement criteria....the unending saga that was....Frogy and choti moments i did call.
p.s : The person for whom this was written, disdainfully rejected to read this. But sometimes some lines are written even if no one is going to read them . "Will you read me when i won't write? " , answer i got , "NO".
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