Monday, March 31, 2014

Mornings with Smile

Moments when i did wait for morning to come ,
For this i slept early , sometimes i woke up early ,
Sometimes time did pass fast , sometimes it seemed it has stopped,
Sometimes i waited patiently , on others i initiated the conversation,
Never knew which option is better.

As i tried to act smart , i knew it's more of stupidity ,
As tried to hide it with smiles ,  i felt weak inside ,
Tried to get away , when i wanted to get close ,
Spoke words when i wanted to listen ,
Couldn't know which option is better.

Wondered how i did sound when my mind went blank ,
did it show when my heartbeat was fast?
Tried to know if i am right or wrong ,
Was too scared to know the answer ,
I knew , it can get difficult to console myself.

Hating myself was not the solution ,
Hugging pillow was not an option ,
If only , I could manage things better ,
Some questions remain unanswered .

Days when i did smile whole day without any reason ,
Unknown person can get this close and be special,
I became better person in between,
If feeling of getting cared is special ,
Caring someone more than yourself is more than special,
May be its difficult to show everything,
When heart overcomes the mind.

Knowing there is no escape ,
May be time will erase them ,
Sense of ending is too scary ,
I don't know if could explain it,
For now , decided to accept the incomplete story.

p.s : Feeling good to come back to my blog after 1 year gap :)