Do it Better

As it took twists and turns ,
Struggled to keep it simple ,
Confused myself , what to do next ,
Thought that should had handled it better ,
Felt struck, At times too weak to move forward ,
Giving up was not an option ,

Somehow had to find Will power to rise again ,
Quest to write future of own ,
Promise of working with determination ,
Felt lonely as i tried it better ,
I knew its about rising after each fall;

Searched solace in unknown ,
How to decide which path to choose?
Things can get complex in no time ,
Felt bad for people whom i care,
May be i should had cared more ,
Quest for excellence ,
Grace of accepting failure ,
Hope that good chapters are to follow,

path should not remain like this,
Things will improve in the story,
Its time to gather all courage,
Get ready for challenging times ahead,
Time to be strong more than ever,
Time to give colors to my dreams.

The Carrom Moments

Over the years I did came to know that this is means to be part of memorable moments. I remember, when I was eight year old , I used to whine before dad every day in quest to get my own board , the carrom board. After initial reluctance dad had relented thanks to my over-zealous-incessant-demands. To my delight , later on , I did manage to get a custom made board as well. Then it seemed some sort of dream , now i can’t stop smiling thinking about those demands and wonder how dad used to handle that .Even though cricket has been my favorite game , carrom did command considerable interest and it manifested in multiple special moments.

While initial association was to take a break, best carrom-moments were to follow during college days. In college, people had almost endless-time to kill and carrom room was prominent place for doing this. Soon all kind of players were to assemble around the board. Some novice , other beginners , some with their peculiar but efficient style of playing . One interesting part i was missing earlier , it’s not all about playing , it’s also about speaking while playing. I was privileged to meet people who could actually make people around them go ROFL. Jokes flowed , taunts and counter taunts were hilarious to say the least. Some used innovative expletives to show their disgust and anger on themselves and their team members  , when critical shots did not bring desired results. One friend applied probabilistic style of playing ,while other friend  took really long time to execute his trademark shot which tested patience of souls present around the board. Not to forget the controversies about rules and expert opinions. In short , almost all basic and necessary ingredients of memorable moments were present in carrom-moments. Just to add ,it was heartening to see novice players become good players in due course.

Life is some sort of quest to add happy chapters and one can easily find means , people and places to create those chapters. Now , as I look back , its slightly difficult for me to comprehend and replicate the excitement which was associated with carrom-moments. What I can  easily do is remember those vibrant faces and smile for few minutes without any reason. All good things must come to an end with one-dimensional flow of time ; may be this is how life has been designed or maybe there are many more chapters to add , equally good , if not better. The quest must goes on :)

Words that count

Moving sometimes without any direction ,
Pulled back many times by the emotions ,
Felt lonely with people all around ,
Worrying almost always without any reason,
Questions galore , thoughts continue .

Courage to rise again on each failure ,
To say each time i can manage it better ,
Hold tears for happy moments ,
Search for the hug when going gets tough ,

Energy to go that extra mile ,
Empathy to understand hidden stories ,
Resolve to never give up on hope ,
Quest to be better with each mistake.

Strength to accept mistakes ,
Resolve to remain grounded with humbleness inside ,
Joy of getting cared and caring others ,
Love in the moments for being unconditional.

Be proud of future which is possible ,
Build up on small dreams ,
Honesty being all time companion ,
Respect and know your limits.

Unending talks do continue ,
Difficulty when no one is there to listen ,
Being the person what you are ,
Caring yourself without being selfish ,

Give more than what it takes ,
Wait for the chances, Overcome fear with truth ,
Use your best in worst of times ,
As they say , do it with plan B .

Follow the heart when mind gets numb ,
Story will have many chapters to explore ,
Dont' hold on the chapters too close ,
Do let it go when the time demands so.

p.s: One of my favourite lines before closing ; " Greatness is not in never falling , It's about rising everytime you fall".

Mornings with Smile

Moments when i did wait for morning to come ,
For this i slept early , sometimes i woke up early ,
Sometimes time did pass fast , sometimes it seemed it has stopped,
Sometimes i waited patiently , on others i initiated the conversation,
Never knew which option is better.

As i tried to act smart , i knew it's more of stupidity ,
As tried to hide it with smiles ,  i felt weak inside ,
Tried to get away , when i wanted to get close ,
Spoke words when i wanted to listen ,
Couldn't know which option is better.

Wondered how i did sound when my mind went blank ,
did it show when my heartbeat was fast?
Tried to know if i am right or wrong ,
Was too scared to know the answer ,
I knew , it can get difficult to console myself.

Hating myself was not the solution ,
Hugging pillow was not an option ,
If only , I could manage things better ,
Some questions remain unanswered .

Days when i did smile whole day without any reason ,
Unknown person can get this close and be special,
I became better person in between,
If feeling of getting cared is special ,
Caring someone more than yourself is more than special,
May be its difficult to show everything,
When heart overcomes the mind.

Knowing there is no escape ,
May be time will erase them ,
Sense of ending is too scary ,
I don't know if could explain it,
For now , decided to accept the incomplete story.

p.s : Feeling good to come back to my blog after 1 year gap :)