Do it Better

As it took twists and turns ,
Struggled to keep it simple ,
Confused myself , what to do next ,
Thought that should had handled it better ,
Felt struck, At times too weak to move forward ,
Giving up was not an option ,

Somehow had to find Will power to rise again ,
Quest to write future of own ,
Promise of working with determination ,
Felt lonely as i tried it better ,
I knew its about rising after each fall;

Searched solace in unknown ,
How to decide which path to choose?
Things can get complex in no time ,
Felt bad for people whom i care,
May be i should had cared more ,
Quest for excellence ,
Grace of accepting failure ,
Hope that good chapters are to follow,

path should not remain like this,
Things will improve in the story,
Its time to gather all courage,
Get ready for challenging times ahead,
Time to be strong more than ever,
Time to give colors to my dreams.

The Carrom Moments

Over the years I did came to know that this is means to be part of memorable moments. I remember, when I was eight year old , I used to whine before dad every day in quest to get my own board , the carrom board. After initial reluctance dad had relented thanks to my over-zealous-incessant-demands. To my delight , later on , I did manage to get a custom made board as well. Then it seemed some sort of dream , now i can’t stop smiling thinking about those demands and wonder how dad used to handle that .Even though cricket has been my favorite game , carrom did command considerable interest and it manifested in multiple special moments.

While initial association was to take a break, best carrom-moments were to follow during college days. In college, people had almost endless-time to kill and carrom room was prominent place for doing this. Soon all kind of players were to assemble around the board. Some novice , other beginners , some with their peculiar but efficient style of playing . One interesting part i was missing earlier , it’s not all about playing , it’s also about speaking while playing. I was privileged to meet people who could actually make people around them go ROFL. Jokes flowed , taunts and counter taunts were hilarious to say the least. Some used innovative expletives to show their disgust and anger on themselves and their team members  , when critical shots did not bring desired results. One friend applied probabilistic style of playing ,while other friend  took really long time to execute his trademark shot which tested patience of souls present around the board. Not to forget the controversies about rules and expert opinions. In short , almost all basic and necessary ingredients of memorable moments were present in carrom-moments. Just to add ,it was heartening to see novice players become good players in due course.

Life is some sort of quest to add happy chapters and one can easily find means , people and places to create those chapters. Now , as I look back , its slightly difficult for me to comprehend and replicate the excitement which was associated with carrom-moments. What I can  easily do is remember those vibrant faces and smile for few minutes without any reason. All good things must come to an end with one-dimensional flow of time ; may be this is how life has been designed or maybe there are many more chapters to add , equally good , if not better. The quest must goes on :)

Words that count

Moving sometimes without any direction ,
Pulled back many times by the emotions ,
Felt lonely with people all around ,
Worrying almost always without any reason,
Questions galore , thoughts continue .

Courage to rise again on each failure ,
To say each time i can manage it better ,
Hold tears for happy moments ,
Search for the hug when going gets tough ,

Energy to go that extra mile ,
Empathy to understand hidden stories ,
Resolve to never give up on hope ,
Quest to be better with each mistake.

Strength to accept mistakes ,
Resolve to remain grounded with humbleness inside ,
Joy of getting cared and caring others ,
Love in the moments for being unconditional.

Be proud of future which is possible ,
Build up on small dreams ,
Honesty being all time companion ,
Respect and know your limits.

Unending talks do continue ,
Difficulty when no one is there to listen ,
Being the person what you are ,
Caring yourself without being selfish ,

Give more than what it takes ,
Wait for the chances, Overcome fear with truth ,
Use your best in worst of times ,
As they say , do it with plan B .

Follow the heart when mind gets numb ,
Story will have many chapters to explore ,
Dont' hold on the chapters too close ,
Do let it go when the time demands so.

p.s: One of my favourite lines before closing ; " Greatness is not in never falling , It's about rising everytime you fall".

Mornings with Smile

Moments when i did wait for morning to come ,
For this i slept early , sometimes i woke up early ,
Sometimes time did pass fast , sometimes it seemed it has stopped,
Sometimes i waited patiently , on others i initiated the conversation,
Never knew which option is better.

As i tried to act smart , i knew it's more of stupidity ,
As tried to hide it with smiles ,  i felt weak inside ,
Tried to get away , when i wanted to get close ,
Spoke words when i wanted to listen ,
Couldn't know which option is better.

Wondered how i did sound when my mind went blank ,
did it show when my heartbeat was fast?
Tried to know if i am right or wrong ,
Was too scared to know the answer ,
I knew , it can get difficult to console myself.

Hating myself was not the solution ,
Hugging pillow was not an option ,
If only , I could manage things better ,
Some questions remain unanswered .

Days when i did smile whole day without any reason ,
Unknown person can get this close and be special,
I became better person in between,
If feeling of getting cared is special ,
Caring someone more than yourself is more than special,
May be its difficult to show everything,
When heart overcomes the mind.

Knowing there is no escape ,
May be time will erase them ,
Sense of ending is too scary ,
I don't know if could explain it,
For now , decided to accept the incomplete story.

p.s : Feeling good to come back to my blog after 1 year gap :)

You will be there

Whenever i search you , i can feel your presence ,
stupid talks with unnecessary information ,
Some repetitive ones and some not so new ,
In moments of hopelessness and in moments of joy ,
Tried to ignore with open eyes ,
At times i Could hear you without any voice ,
Somehow i held on and said all will pass.

All i did was was with no bad intentions ,
Felt bad when i did want you to turn ,
On one side i did respect your decision
Felt bad when i could not hold those emotions ,
As you said ," don't want you to see that way "

Why i felt it that way , why i stood there for so late?
May be i don't want to know the reasons.
Why some paths intersect , why some stories intercept?
I know  , I'll never find  some answers.

There are moments when you are missed ,
when i walk with slight slow pace thinking you are by my side
When i try to sing with voice not so nice ,
As i try to correct my bad habits ,
I hear you say , " don't want to see you that way "

I wondered if this search has any ending ,
May be you will never show up ,
I know you will giggle listening this part of the story ,
Anyways, you will know the other part of the journey.

Confusion galore , i know for sure ,
I shall clear the the path we shall walk together,
I will listen more and speak less ,
Will read you and won't bother about writing ,
Caring you will be like getting cared ,
Slow motion it is as i try to peep into my future ,
It feels good , at last , you will be there.

Make it count

From tears to pristine and vibrant smile ,
Then i was worried , now I'm proud of you ,
You are going for something what you like ,
i know it requires courage ,
to go against the flow ,to walk on unknown path .

I wish for you all strength and confidence ,
Do it with truth and fearlessness ,
Never let evil to become a hurdle,
Handle responsibility with tenacity ,
Manage others non-sense with rationality.

Do devote your time to hobbies ,
Enjoy your favorite songs in free time,
Do search where they have music concert ,
Do explore the joy of eating street food ,
If possible , do pick up that nice book,
utilize your energy at dance,
Don't drop the mobile phone quite often,
Keep back-up money if you forget wallet at home.

Do review what you are doing ,
make corrections for wrongs ones , Persist with good ones.
Always Carry ready-to-eat food as back up ,
Cultivate qualities of Scofield of Prison Break,
Always remain calm , work on the plans ,
If plan A fails ,  be ready with plan B ,
Don't waste time over small hurdles,
Look as far as possible.

Sometimes we meet people to add-up to sweet memories ,
I shall aspire to live some moments again,
With a cuppa of coffee or with sip of tea,
given an option it'll be tea at roadside dhaba.

To conclude i will say , " Make it count ",
Now you know things don't end , they get transformed

The Manchurian Nights

History of Manchurian dishes in India can be as old as Indo-China relations i.e. 2500 years old . We may have not-so-nice feeling about Chinese people but we do a lot of business with them , 73 billion $ to be specific and we love their food for sure. Chow mein and noodles are ruling many homes in India and some Chinese restaurants are doing business like never before example : Yo! China has become a brand in no time . Like all foreign things we did successfully Indianize many Chinese dishes according to our style . We eat butter Naan with veg Manchurian as if both were made for each other . Chinese Samosa is another nice fusion . Anyways , this article has nothing to do with intricacies of Chinese dishes or Manchurian dishes for that matter . It's about Mr. Darsha , evolved version of Adarsha , as he is fondly called , a genius of a brain and a wonderful friend.

The thoughts take me back to college days when special dishes were served on Wednesdays and Sundays . Nothing was special about the servings , worse then normal days one can safely add . These were the days when eateries inside/outside the college campus used to do more business than usual days . Menu was not extensive as one may wish to but there was enough to keep us involved. Me and Mr. Darsha were regular at the OC-restaurant in our college campus on the nights when 'special' dishes were served in hostel. Looking back , it may be said we did not want more in the menu as our order was uniformly same e.g. Veg Manchurian and chapati . On some occasions Chicken-Dehati-Chapati combination was gentle deviation as well . Manchurian was cost effective way to fill up stomach and call it special dinner session . By the time one realizes some friendship bonds get created having long term proportions . Extra time taken to get our order served used to provide ample time to explore different facets of friendship . After all , world seems a better place when you wait for your food at dinner table and you have people over the table who have innumerable stories to tell . Some stories which get repeated , but they are equally enjoyable . Even when Manchurian was there on table we had to wait for more time for Chapati to arrive , invariably this used to be extended wait . Onion peels were used to compensate for some time during chapati-wait-session . We hardly complained when we used to get colored hand after Manchurian dinners, thanks to adulterated tomato sauce . Extra chili usage ensured that we asked for sugar and sauf ( fennel seeds ) after paying the bill amount and walked away leisurely .

Most important thing which makes Mr. Darsha special is the genius inside him. When you spend time with people having special talent you try to expect same level from everyone around you in due course , which is difficult if not impossible . By watching Mr. Darsha's style of work One could secretly appreciate with awe the genius at work . I used to give the B'day bills , and other similar bills , to Mr. Darsha to ensure the sum calculation was fine . By doing this i wanted to see human calculator at work , without paper and pen , in-air-calculation . By Second semester Mr. Darsha had become a known and important figure at my home . We used to travel together during holidays during almost all vacations . In return journey separate package of Sattu-paratha-Aam-ka-Aachar was packed for Mr. Darsha . While i was mostly silent creature in those days , even now i am mostly silent creature , but in front of Mr. Darsha i was able to speak for considerable amount of time . In Mr. Darsha we had very good teacher and it was not unusual to find so many people running towards his room during exam time . I used to collect doubts and move towards his room as part of two-hours-before-exam preparation . Not to forget the frustration sessions when all of us used to get worried at the same time about career e.g. life after college . Then it was difficult to understand the confusion was to continue long after moving out of college.

Marriage make the changing times look evident .Recently Mr Darsha got engaged , a girl has "agreed" to marry him . Suddenly things we used to talk as part of  fun talks is becoming a reality . It's so nice when we can see the happiness in the voice of friends . When close friends start moving towards marriage world you realize inevitability of change. All the best to Mr. Darsha for married life ahead . I shall patiently wait to see his great exploits in future which will be many in number for sure.

Concluding with Manchurian talks .Its difficult to give words to all special moments which passed . May be manchurian nights count above others.  Even now i order Manchurian dishes , sometimes without looking at the Menu and price. This happens not because i am some sort of fan of Manchurian dishes, but because i want to get the flavor of the Nights which passed......The Manchurian Nights i call them.

P.S : I did come across a moment which got added to my all time favorite moments list. A sweet friend , sweeter than 'hunny-bunny' Idea's jingle , queried about The Big bang theory during the chit-chat over evening snacks table . While introducing Penny's role i said , ' she is highly dumb type character '. To which the sweet friend interjected saying , 'just like me?' . I wish i could pause the time for that moment and save the same , if only i could . Effortless innocence and sublime facial expression made that moment special.