Of a request , a thank you and the sorry

As the counter is saying , this is my 50th blog entry . So time to think what has been achieved till now , time to smile and and go for virtual party . Here it goes.....


A request
Yesterday i watched last episode of prison break season 4. The concluding episode had one touching song.....i got emotional when the song was playing in background with so many things coming to an end . I dedicate this song to all my friends . Here is lyrics of the song.....
Lay it down slow

if you got dreams in your heart
why don't you share them with me?
And if dreams don't come true
i'll make sure that your nightmares are through

if you got pain in your heart
why don't you share it with me?
And we'll just wait and see
if it's half what it used to be
and lay it down slow
lay it down free
lay it down easy
but lay it on me

if you've got love in your heart
why don't you keep it with mine?
I can't promise a miracle
but i'll always be trying
and lay it down slow
lay it down free
lay it down easy
but lay it on me.

a thank you

time to thank you all for reading / following / commenting . I know i am not a good writer , motivation for writing blog came from words ," all of us are special , so is our writing style ". It felt nice to know so many good people on blog , which is not possible in real life ,at-least for me .thanks to blog world , I am glad i know kajal ( thepinkorchid ), kiran maam ( chammak challo ), ashrita ( satan's darling ). I know many addition to above list will be there in future. Thanks to two ' invisible' followers of my blog . You two are always there with your comments on gtalk .

the sorry

time to say unconditional sorry to friends who felt hurt due to me . Life is too short to live for self . But sometimes life has to go like this . No hard feeling against anyone .

Before closing : be the change you want to see in this world .
Bye world :)

Slavery rocks....agreed?

Strange may it seem , mentioned title is /was motto of our friend circle . This was coined by yours truely , and marketting ( yes , i call that this ) of same was also done by me . No points for guessing ,this was everyone's favourite ' word ' in our friend circle.

This quote ( slavery rocks! ) has been derived from one of my favourite lines , " we are prisoners of our own identity living in prison of own creation". Appropriate addition came as we try to do things according to rules of surrounding .The point is, we want to live in prison , if there are no constraints we create our own stupid ways of living life . The stupidity is personified by small/ big things we do .....doing things in particular way / doing things according to accepted rules Ex . Wearing cloths of particular brand , eating particular food at particular location /time , watching movies of our choice on particular days ( yes , we call that our favourite / part of routine) . This should not be confused with 'typecasting ' which was once defined on my blog . Others are responsible for our actions in that case .

As we are slaves of own self,by default we are slaves of the system . Here the keyword "rocks " comes into picture. We end up doing things which system expects from us with perfection . In our college it was making notes ,diagrams , graphs , assignment etc on time with all possible dedication . In real life it can be doing things without thinking i.e "is this what i am supposed to do? " ( this on serious note ). Some other acts things which requires slavery are income tax , electricity bills , fone bills , cable bills , newspaper bill ( omg! how many bills one has to foot to live on this planet). On top of that doing daily shopping requires real slaves ( even if we have one-stop super markets to make things easy ). Life is not easy , only best slaves can make a cut. We call this competition? ...don't know why .

Real tricky situation it is . Searching for balance is only option . One very good idea can be follow the best slaves , let them decide what is best and follow that algorithm blindly .error....error paradigm shift , yes! following someone is not slavery , one can always stop following one slave to follow the other , so freedom written everywhere . But nothing is better then being own follower ( slave ), but arn't other important thing are to be done in life? This question is as confusing as ever . Let the question remain 'unsolvable ' .
For now , slavery rocks for sure , but dream of feeling full freedom will always be there .

p.s : hey friends , how you are performing as your own slave . Plz share the same.

p.p.s : again random thoughts from memory lanes . I am afraid this makes any sense :)

To papa the great

Here i'm ready with my father's day blog entry . I have tried to write it like my mother's day blog entry but difference is quite obvious . Here it goes .......

Dear daddy ,
here are some points which are in my mind as i am thinking of you .
# whenever you saw me watching english news , reading english newspaper , your favourite question for me since std 2 has been " jhunnu (my nickname ), samajh me ata hai ye sab ? " ( can you understand these stuffs ) . Yes papa ! I can understand english and can talk in the same . I know it was your wish when you watched news-in-english , that your son will be able to understand whatever being said . Small dreams can be so big .

# papa , you are my first style icon . When i was kid you made style statement through your style of keeping key-ring , placing sun-glasses in shirt's pocket , taking 15 minutes to comb your hair , keeping top 2 shirt's button open and many more . Yes! , I found style icon in you.

# i have sweet memories associated with your love for music . Just can't forget you singing loudly and me sitting happily on your shoulder . Sad , u don't sing anymore :(
# i know when you are angry. You are real angry if english words are coming from your mouth . Mild anger if you are speaking pure hindi . All is fine if you are speaking in mixture i.e magahi , bhojpuri , maithili , surjapuri ( local lingo of different regions of bihar )

# walking with you in the local market is time taking work . Gowd ! You know so many people . 15 mintes walk easily takes more then 1 hour , you have to interact with many .
# I wonder , you never agree with my length of hair . I am always prepared to get words from you , " jhunnu!! , go and get hair cut ". Similar words come when i don't eat , wake-up , sleep etc on 'time ' . I miss these things when i am away from home .

# your phone call to me lasts less then 2 minutes ( 40 sec to 80 sec ). I love those calls even if i know what will be content of the conversation . Being predictive was never so nice .

# dad , you have always been superman for me . I believed you can do anything for me . I remember as kid i used to ask you ," why we don't have a car? ". I remember your answer , "because we don't need one" . We had one bicycle . Sitting on the bi-cycle with you 'driving' will always be dream ride for me .

# i don't remember when last time you got angry with me. I want to hear angry words from you meant for me . Never knew 'Being scolded ' will be part of my sweet memories.

# papa , you still think you should carry "bhari " ( heavy ) luggage , and i should carry "halka " ( light) while you and i travel together . Dad , now i can't see you doing this . But i know i won't be able to persuade you on this topic. I am so lucky to have you as my papa-the-great .

Papa , i love you equally everyday , just want to say again , i love you , on this day we call father's day.

son,
neeraj

crossing the line.......think

As i was thinking about the topic of this blog entry above mentioned title came into my mind. If i am not wrong "Crossing the line " was sports program aired on DD national ( 5-6 years back ) ( one movie also with same name ) . This blog entry is all about crossing the line , knowing where the line is , once crossed what processes are to be followed to make things straighten up. Bottom-line remains , one learns from mistakes .

I was going through the interview of steve bucknor ( well known cricket umpire ). The question being answered was

" you made many mistakes while umpiring , do you regret making those mistakes ? ".

The answer : " no i don't regret. if i regret making mistakes , i regret being human being ".

How many times we did hear the words " don't cross the line or you will have to face the consequences " . As a kid i always saw aussies saying some "words" ( i was told they operate from within the line ) . When indians started doing similar things , it was called , they crossed the line ( fully debatable topic this is ). so funda is very clear , we should try not to cross the limit ( reminder : all reactions require threshold energy ). Biggest problem is knowing the where the line is . If we know the problem then we can solve the problem. Another thing which generates interest is "everything is relative". This makes knowing the "line" tedious job.This threshold can be in many forms i.e pampering others , doing bad things , bad habits etc etc.


OOps!....... the line crossed , what now?
The scheme of things here is to give ample time to understand the damage . Many times we just don't have the "time" to understand the situation i.e forced to react in others way. If we have time , surely the problem should be handled with cool mind. Most of the time we say "this has never happened to me"......but many things happen in life for the first time and anyone will agree , "life gives no retake".
we should be ready to accept the mistake and learn from that mistake. The point which should be kept in min is "don't generalize the problem/ solution blindly ". Pre-conceived notions are worst enemies.


Before closing i would like to say hope for the best be prepared for the worst. Saying ,i was not prepared for this wont help for long.


p.s : random thoughts ruling me these days. Nothing official about it :P

Into other side....

This post is about getting into different side. Here , locus of our identity changes. We as an entity , act / forced-to-act as if we possess special attributes. Relatives ask some difficult questions i.e why this course /career ? What future goals? Your dreams are so big! Etc etc. Cousines / juniors start asking for future/ career related guidance . Earlier , i used to pamper bhaiyas and didis with similar questions . New feeling this is.
When , i was in first year i used to think , bhaiyas passing out ( 4th year ) are supermen ( have solution to all problems ). At the same stage , i am more confused then ever , so don't think i have grown enough to guide my juniors . I realised this day before yesterday when my cousin asked me to make one career related decision for him. I just gave him my knowledge and left the decision making work for him . Got scared with complexity of the given scenario.

So the dilemma when one is into "the-other-side" is obvious . People start expecting more . One has to be role-model because others will be looking upto you to learn things. One has to say to juniors to study books , only because those books are 'good' books. One has to stop younger lot from getting into "bad-habit ".

Everything in this side is not about 'trying to be nice '. In seniors , i had seen the arrogance : "i can do anything approach ". Being arrogant is good thing as long as we are not hurting others. Now , i am enjoying my all time high arrogance level ( in +ve sense :p).

I am exploring the effects and side effects of being into "the other side". As i have got into this side , i know , i will learn the rules and how to play the game safely in this alian space . Suggestions expected from friends i.e what it means to belong to other side? How to handle changed scenario ?

P.s : i thought this post will be on lighter side , but it seems my stupid serious self got priority.

Me formally an engineer...yesss!

My 8th sem sesults are out. I am formally an engineer :p (now 100% , after each sem i used to count ," how much till now ?")
i would like to say congrats to myself on this occasion.
Now time to catch other dreams before they slip away....another chase begins....chasing dreams in journey called life.

P.s : as i am using my cell phone to post my entries, that's why no pics and no experiment with font. Small blog entries as well.

Away from family

It may seem weird but today i did travel with mommy-daddy( together) after 6 long years( ignoring auto travel). We did travel today from patna to gaya. I have been living away from family now for 11 years , due to studies. I did miss many things in the process , but compromise was only option (thanks to dad's transferable job and posting happened in remote places ).
So , half of my life i have been out of home. Some basic things i did learn from home . It was time to know things away from home ( some bad and some good things ).
Here are some good /bad points ( i think so :p )

# learning and living with diverse people. When living together became lifestyle?...we never knew.sharing everything (except undies :p )....a la munnabhi mbbs.

# knowing people: from diverse background. What they think? , how they react?, how they talk? How they live. Learning and fun 24/7

# freedom : we feel responsible if we have freedom.i did learn this with attached freedom.

#food : missed "ghar ka khana".abusing the food before eating became routine.

# less interaction with real life problems. When i used to come home , i knew i was going into different world.

# friends : special friends made.friends for ever.

# girls : unknown species, less /no interaction with them .

# new hobbies: yes , i did learn new hobbies, i never knew i had a cartoonist inside me. Rubiks cube, origami , novel reading. Really new things, thanks to friends for introducing new things to me.

Long list already .i will add other things in future.

P.s : this post is dedicated to choti , she is silent follower of my blog. Initially i pampered her to read my blog.now she is regular. Thank you choti.

I chose this....

Climax scene from movie the matrix revolutions

agent smith : why mr. Anderson, why ? Why you fall every time to rise again?

Neo : ( rising again to fight ) because i have chosen this.

In life we face difficult situations because we chose to be in that situation.why we chose that path is million doller question , everyone has to answer on their own.

P.s : the matrix is my favourite movie. Did watch all 3 parts 6 times :p

p.p.s : geeta plz leave your link here. Me can't locate your blog :(