looking........... back /forward

definition
virtual world = gtalk 'new' additions / dc++ friends from college / blogger friends /internet forum's friends

My blogging days as engineering college student has ended ( leaving college hostel tomorrow ) . Will be on blogger as 100% engineer . Will try to add something else to my real-life profile of mine in future ( mba ..etc ) .

Experience with virtual world has been nice. At times this bugged me , but most of the times it felt like heaven . Precisely, i experienced the virtual world for two and half year. Before internet meant maintaining contact with real-life friends / browsing / searching .

This post is about , how virtual world took something out of me. No hard feeling against the ' culprits '.

Initially it was addiction to this world which was bugging me . Now the contents of this world are bugging me. I thought every thing is roasy about the virtual world. But forgot the real life people are on virtual world. They come with predefined inconsistencies and imperfection.
Many times we assume things about the persons on virtual world. We make some too big and someone too small .

So how was i bugged? i won't explain . Here are some things which can be said , maintaining suspense factor associated with each . What i felt are as under.....

# ignored at times : this might had happened unintentionally /intentionally . But do we expect everyone to notice one in this world. naah!! . Being ignored is the reality bite. I was prepared for this still got bugged.....sometimes preparedness also doesn't help.

# cheated : not big cheating did occur , mild cheat :P . Will make the person who did this to read this blog entry. The person has to face mild anger from my side for doing that thing to me. This came some short of shocker to me. . actually i was unprepared for this thing from that 'creature'. I was taken off-guard when this cheating thing did occur . Even now my heart is with her but brain is not supporting the same .

# i am giving too much of information about myself : Others might have felt , this , and they successfully knew everything about me without telling anything about them. I did not respect my privacy , i think i should had....( here , me is angry with myself )

# Felt i knew nothing about the person : real shocker, how can it be? The person was so depressed , and i got no wind about the same. Felt like culprit when she disclosed in which state she was the other night.


# pampered others : with my stupid talk . Yes when i felt so , really bad i felt . it was like cheapness personified. Expect less from others , at times i did expect too much .

# rejected : One demand of mine was rejected . This demand was something close to heart . I felt like animal on knowing this. Am i so bad? , no is the answer, but i know everyone will not understand this thing in this world . preoccupied ides....culprit here.

Nevertheless , i am still addicted to this world. I have more reasons to love this world then to hate. I just wish that day never comes , when i hate virtual world . This world has given me more then i did expect .

Again , no hard feeling against the ' creatures ' due to whom above mentioned point did originate ( me included in the list of creatures ). I am lucky, i got chance to know you people . I will continue in virtual world , but with caution , after above mentioned things which i have felt/experienced.

But i won't be over cautious , for sure :P

p.s : this blog entry is dedicated to sweetest "jasoos" i will ever know . That creature is responsible for "rejected " point mentioned above.

Award time : This is for Kajal!! . Smile kajal... smile ....always....